Once upon a time I was mortified and scared about ever finding a faithful person to date. I am a loser for love and I literally fall in love when in love. I even take friendships world cup, crying over failed friendships. Imagine what happens to me when I experience a heartbreak. So you can understand why the issue of faithfulness is important to me as I do not ascribe to multiple relationships. For me cheating basically is having an emotional or sexual relationship or affair with someone other than your partner with whom you are in a closed relationship.
In recent times, cheating has become quite normal in relationships. In the past, cheating by men was very common, we all knew that most men cheat. However, women are becoming more and more open about their cheating escapades which is scaring the hell out of a lot of men. Perhaps we could infer that indeed ‘what men can do, women can do better’ lol. I am in no way supporting cheating, it’s just ironic how the tables have turned.
Okay let me not digress. Serious issues. Why do people cheat? Don’t even think about saying that cheating is normal for guys and it’s in their genes. I don’t know which theory or experiment has proved that men have cheating in their genes. Its utterly rubbish and shameful for any right thinking human being to say that. Even polygamy used to be practised with consent from existing wives, and you talk of relationships. Respect perhaps may be a thing of old, a rarity of this generation.
When it comes to the ladies, we all love to be spoilt dread. Hehee who doesn’t like freebies? We all do but in varying degrees. Unfortunately, some people tend to confuse this for love. So should the unexpected happen and their partners are unable to spoil them like they used to, then the cheating ‘wahala’ begins. For others, it’s not a matter of freebies, but sustenance. I have heard of ladies dating multiple men just to have enough money to pay for their school fees. Though the motive may be good, it still doesn’t justify the act. I wish I could say here is the solution but I would be lying. Receiving scholarships has been politicised, parents and family would have helped if they could. So yeah I am lost for a solution. But you may just lose the love of your life if you are caught.
Oh and my attention lovers. I love attention. I love to tell my partner everything happening in my life, even the foolish things I do (what? It helps me move on after laughing at myself). Because with me, once you get my attention, every other person is secondary. You have secured the password to my heart. Nonetheless, there are situations when you can’t blame the attention lovers too much for cheating. After the ‘honeymoon’ phase of relationships, some partners tend to relax on the very things they did that drew their partners to them. When this happens and no effort is being done to maintain the relationship, little acts of attention and affection become distractions that could lead to cheating. Regardless, it still doesn’t justify cheating. It’s nice to be told sweet words by other people besides your partner, but that’s just it; sweet words. Or perhaps gifts, if that’s how you understand love. There are more to sweet words and gifts. If you cannot identify at least one thing that makes your partner endearing to you besides the sweet words and gifts then perhaps you are not ready for the relationship. Relationships are so much more than sweet words and little acts of affection, yet they still play significant roles in a relationship. Please know what you want before leading a precious soul into a relationship that could mar them for life. And if you start something at the beginning of a relationship, please be consistent with it so your partner doesn’t feel alone in the relationship.
I do not know why you cheat and I cannot tell if there is anything to gain because I have never been there. But from where I sit, it doesn’t help anyone. It may not affect you now, and may never will, but you are causing pain to someone. It may not be a deliberate action. You may be spoilt for choice as to who to accept as your partner. That is fine. But please do not commit to anyone in this state of uncertainty. Especially for christian brothers and sisters, you make a mockery of our God, and yourselves. I write this mainly because of you. The path you are on now may translate into marriage. And this is definitely not the kind of marriage God intended for us.It doesn’t matter if you have been cheated on. It hurts but cheating on others won’t repair the damage. I used to think I would cheat on my future husband if he cheats. But who am I kidding? I would just be opening myself up to more damage.
Ephesians 5:25-33: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, …”
These verses right here summarise it all – if you love your partner as yourself, you will not find yourself cheating, an act you don’t like done to you. I don’t know how God can cheat on us, but He definitely does not cheat and I don’t want to imagine what that would be. Hell no! If our marriage should be a tangible expression of God’s love for both the believer and the unbeliever, then it’s up to us to be faithful in our marriage relationships. Just think through this. What would an additional person besides God do to your relationship? How are you treating your partner? Are you being faithful or loving to them? Are you representing God’s love in your relationship and in your marriage? What’s your truth?
JustTruth 
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